I have been thinking recently about the 38 years I spent on the job, before retirement. I rose from the cellars of mail boy to the height of what some considered middle management or what I considered lower management. It seems that the correct definition of the position lies in only ones mind. During these years I've watched how management worked and with what machines they brought to the job. At first when the fax machine came out, it was a marvel never seen before..."how did we ever live without this phenomenon" to have a piece of paper transmitted over thin wires to another machine and show up in perfect duplicate. The cell phone was another. I remember seeing men carry this around in a bag hung over their shoulders, what an advancement. Just prior to this only a select few, mainly the rich, had them in their cars. Now, even the street people and children as young as 5 walk around with this instrument glued to their ear. OOHHH how far we have come. I spent 38 years without a blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with the world over something called facebook and twitter and work just went on. Now my grandchildren can twix, and text me faster than I can think.
A while ago, a high school classmate of mine emailed me and told me how awesome it would be if I joined facebook along with a whole bunch of other classmates. "Just think, how it could bring all of us closer" was the inducement I needed. SSSSOOOOOO facebook it was, then before you knew it, Twitter started to be mentioned. Just think now you can Tweeter,Tweetree,Twhirl,Twitterfon,Tweetie and Twittererific, Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message including bowel movements of the next generation to my cell phone and every other program in the texting world. Now I carry my cell phone around clipped to my belt for security, and every three minutes or so, I find myself hunched over pulling on my pants to try and get closer to the phone simply because I am unable to get the phone off my belt fast enough. People watching probably now think I am not only old but retarded.
Two years ago, my kids bought me a GPS for my birthday. They say I could get lost every now and then going across the street to get the mail. Little did they know, I was out there just BSing with the other people getting the mail.. this is really a cool gadget and it looks really great on my dash board, but the lady inside is the most annoying,rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "RE-CALC-UL-ATING" You would think she could be nicer. It was as if she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not a good thing!!!. When I really get lost, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, I at least know she cares for me. I tried to use this GPS once to see just how it worked. I hooked it up and told it that I wanted to go to the mailbox. In the time it took just to locate where I was at that moment, I had backed out of my driveway, pulled up to the mailbox, reached in and got the mail, closed the window and was back into my drive way. I even helped it along by telling it I did not want to take any highways. A time saver it's not...........
Cordless phones are another great thing, now one can walk around the house talking on the phone, the only drawback is that I have not yet figured out that when I hear the little beep tone how do I put one call on hold, answer the other call, and then return to the first person. I always find myself having to call the first person back.
The world is just moving to fast for me. They even mess me up at the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never can remember to take them in with me. When they ask me, "Paper of Plastic?" I just say, "doesn't matter to me I am bi-sacksual" then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
Whats next in this world???
