Well, my friends, here we are once again. Standing on the threshold of---an old outgoing year, and the new incoming year. Oh, what a glorious day. To think it seems like just yesterday, when I resolved that during the new year of 2009, my ambition was to clean out my garage and get rid of all the junk that I have not used in the past 5 years, old skis, old leather ski boots, old rusted screws, bolts and nails that my father had collected, old water saturated insulation that I once told myself I would put around all the little holes I found around the house. Oh, to have those days and years back.
I remember, as if it were yesterday, that my New Years resolutions were dreams that went so unanswered. When I was 5, I resolved that, I would keep my room neat and clean, not!!, that lasted as long as the quarter a week allowance did, At 10, I resolved to become a better athlete and save my school from many losses it had, by becoming the hero. HA! ! The only part of me that completed that resolution was my feet, when I developed athlete's foot and spent a year spreading salve and powder on those beautiful tootsie, and the ego of wearing a jock strap three times the size needed. At 18 my resolution was to be accepted at Princeton Univ. and begin dating the most beautiful girl from the neighboring female school, YO, BRO!! can't quite remember if that was the year I went to THE New York school of Interior and architectural design-------or Webster school of Floral design, anyway this lead to my employment by SAS and my New Years resolution became more and more confined to how I would spend my time being more concerned about World Peace, authoring a tell all book on inside corporations and the people running them and finally Food and Beverages of the World and their effect on the aging. my food of choice becoming extra salted herring on pasta and aquavit, a smooth burning liquor that had the capabilities of removing the rust from my dad's collection of screws and bolts.
At any rate, tonight........12 hours away........I once again will be awaken from a sound sleep on the couch promptly at 11:45 By a beautiful blonde bombshell with an hour glass figure I remember from the 50's, to watch the little tinsel ball slipping down the shaft into the New Year of 2010. A cling of the glass of champagne, (or diet coke) a smile and a bird like peck for a kiss. Goodnight, my darling, I shall retire now to the comfort of my flannel sheets and hopefully awaken in the morning to begin my NEW ........New Years resolutions.
I think this year I will just make it easy on myself by not abusing me of always being a failure to keep these resolutions .........I will list two wishes in each of three categories. Category A----zero chance of completing, Category B, 50 % chance of completing and Category C.......I got it made!!!!!
Category A
1- Grow to the height of 7' and not loosing any weight become a force in Basketball and the highest scorer in history
2- stay at my 5'11" height loose 50 lbs and have the body of a 20 year old porn star.
Category B
1- Finish cleaning my garage
2- Having three of my neighborhood ladies invite me for tea and conversation on consecutive days each week
Category C
1-wash my face and hand once a day
2-listen to my wife,........the talking GPS...........driving directions.
Now, you may ask which one of these categories, I will complete, and even though all three are possible, Only one will have any chance in Hell of making.
Happy New Year my friends and may the year bring all resolutions into reality by reaching 20,000 on the stock exchange.
Vito
