I don't know if one really knows or understands good PEOPLE WATCHING....or the techniques of it but I consider myself one of a kind.....if not the best in this category. People watching.....unlike.....stalking, is an art in itself. Not only must you find the perfect people watching spot but you must do it unsuspectingly. This is something that I found could be done when one is in a group or when you find yourself alone but the technique is very important. It can be done if you are single, it can be done if you are "spoken for" or it can be if you are married.....in the case of the latter.....decorum along with self respect, self ego and discrimination.................and WITHOUT YOUR WIFE noticing... must prevail. I also find that one must tell (through your eyes ONLY) not only the people you are watching, but also the people that you are watching with, that you are watching them and that you are watching with them since this brings out the true meaning of PEOPLE WATCHING. With that understanding, which I presume you do understand,....................... (if not reread).........one begins to "People Watching"
Places to People Watch are very important.......depending on what you expect to see and I speak only from a man's point of view..............since I am a man............I wanted to collaborate with a woman's point of view...........however Margot forbid that, since some travelling was necessary to do the proper research with my 28 year old collaborator.
The Beach......... this is the ultimate, especially if you are middle aged heading towards OLD. Also, it gives one OLD person the happiness of .......trying..........to be young.......again. (without all that cosmetic surgery......and stuff.)
Casino's are the second best place because of the variety of people to choose from.
For the young------
You could stand ankle deep in the surf, hands on your hips, hat slightly pulled down over your eyes an occasionally quarter turn to get other looks. This position is suggested only if one has a sculptured tan body, dark or blonde wavy hair, cut slightly over the ears. Also, very important is the type of swimsuit one wears. This person should have the swimming champion jockey type. By taking the slow quarter turns, THIS not only encourages even tanning but also and overview shot of looking for the perfect ..........PEOPLE WATCHING specimen.
For the middle aged, sitting legs crossed, either reading the wall street journal or a very thick book or perhaps doing the New York Times crossword puzzle. This gives the suspicion of being somewhat of an intellect or investor, encouraging the better of the opposite sex to make sure they pass by. Possibly slightly graying hair helps. Wear yellow tinted night vision lens on your glasses, showing that you have excitement for early evening activities. Occasionally lift you head away from whatever your reading, look around as if to be looking for a word, to complete your crossword puzzle or unsuspectingly stare into space scoping out the scenery.
For the OLD, you should be sitting propped up on a legless, beach chair.......for stability..... dark glasses to prevent anyone from seeing who you are looking at, trunk type swim suit loosely tied so you could breath, your paper or book opened and resting on you inflated stomach, knees bent and feet buried in the sand, to prevent people seeing your fungus toenails or misshaped toes. Hands behind your head to give the impression of pure relaxation.........it also will help force the stomach northward towards the chest area.................. and..........most importantly..... prevents your head from falling ,when you accidentally doze off..............
pick out anyone younger than you with either a bikini or two piece suit and visualize yourself being that young dude you once were standing ankle deep in the surf.
In this age bracket it also does not hurt................to wear a lot of gold chains, to help blend with the graying chest hairs. What ever you do --------DON'T STAND UP..........first of all the quick movement to the UP position might encourage dizziness and you fall over or your stomach falling towards your toes might do the same.
I have found that people watching can be done any time of the day, anywhere one might be, and the best part it's free........ now, take it one step further. For a few bucks one might find it very indulging to be holding a glass of wine, a latte, cappuccino at the same time that they are enjoying the antics of people going by. People astonish me, they come in all sizes, colors and dress just to mention a few but no matter what their difference appear to be I truly believe their minds are running in different directions. I usually play a little game with myself, while I indulge in the sport of people watching. I try to visualize what they do for a living, what do they do to entertain themselves, what their hobbies are and best of all. WHY ARE THEY ACTING SO STUPID!!!!! Have you ever noticed how young people try to act so OLD and OLD people try to act so young.
I ask myself from time to time..........self.............where do I really enjoy watching people? Some of my favorite places are, shopping malls, casino's, sporting events, resort area's..........or anyplace sitting down..............however.....saying that I admit, I people watch just sitting in front of my TV. I still consider people watching looking across the dinner table at Margot. Why does she eat her vegetables before her meat, why does she chew her bread that way and why does she put butter only on certain kinds of bread and not others? Why is she wearing THAT sweater? What is she thinking now? OOOPPPPS............sorry, everything has a habit of coming back to................ME!!!! and what I WANT!!!!!!
I must tell you a story. Several years ago, 5 of us decided to drive around Europe taking in the sites. Three ladies, two men. We had reached Siena, a nice size town in the Tuscany area of Italy. The three ladies decided to go shopping and left myself and the other OLD DUDE.... basking in the sun of the city center square. A perfect place to sit with our wine and PEOPLE WATCH. Now... we decided to play the role, sssooo there we sat. our sweaters hung around our shoulders loosely tied in a single loop, our reading glasses (with tinted lens) perched on top of our head, an Italian newspaper resting on the small table and the two of us enjoying the views and the people, especially the younger ladies in leather tight pants or very short shirts scooting around town on their little vespers (motor scooter). We decided to speak with our hands following other guys speaking in low tones and smiling sheepishly at all women that passed our table. OOOHHHHH, WHAT A GLORIOUS LIFE!!!!!....... suddenly and to much of our surprise....after three wines, two questions for directions from tourists, we were approached, by three ladies. The ladies seem to be quite forward and knew exactly what they wanted and how much it cost. First thing out of my friends mouth was an Italian phrase " quanta Costa senora " a sweet reply 10,000 Lira senor
As we reached for our wallets, at which point ----- we had to lower our tinted bifocals,........... discovering we had just been approached by .............................OUR WIVES and friend................"can we have 10,000 Lira, we saw these beautiful silk scarves." .................... "whatsa canna you giva me in ..........how you say......... inna return?" BABY.
So, my friends, if your looking to be able to occupy yourself without getting a job, try PEOPLE WATCHING. .......................but remember...........................DO NOT STALK...........
Some might call this perversion or day dreaming.............call it whatever you want..........it's the only fun I have left.
