At the rear of our house, one story above ground and off our family room, we have this slightly oversize deck. During the summer months, this deck becomes Margot's flower haven. Pots and Pots of all colored flowers, but with a theme.
For some years now, Margot has been asking for a bird bath or bird feeder. I personally didn't want a bird feeder so I agreed to have a bird bath. Well, my thought was to wait it out and perhaps Margot would forget all about the birdbath for another year. One day, thought, I looked out from the oversize family room window and low and behold a bright red birdbath set upon the railing of our deck. Birds from all directions coming to swim, splash and do whatever else birds do in this bird bath. I questioned Margot on her choice of birdbaths since I have never seen anything like this in the pet shops or where ever one might buy birdbaths only to be told that it was and oversize Italian lasagna baking dish, but what the hell, the birds really liked it. Now, besides the birds coming over for a dip, we also had "Herman" our adopted squirrel who would , on occasion drop by for a romp or two oh!!! he looked so cute doing the backstroke across this dish.
For some years now, Margot has been asking for a bird bath or bird feeder. I personally didn't want a bird feeder so I agreed to have a bird bath. Well, my thought was to wait it out and perhaps Margot would forget all about the birdbath for another year. One day, thought, I looked out from the oversize family room window and low and behold a bright red birdbath set upon the railing of our deck. Birds from all directions coming to swim, splash and do whatever else birds do in this bird bath. I questioned Margot on her choice of birdbaths since I have never seen anything like this in the pet shops or where ever one might buy birdbaths only to be told that it was and oversize Italian lasagna baking dish, but what the hell, the birds really liked it. Now, besides the birds coming over for a dip, we also had "Herman" our adopted squirrel who would , on occasion drop by for a romp or two oh!!! he looked so cute doing the backstroke across this dish.
One day, Margot was trying to convince me to once again think about the purchase of a bird feeder to go along with the birdbath. My goodness Margot, get over it. I don't want some bunch of birds spitting seeds all over the deck and leaving poop on the railings, cant you understand that. After all Margot, I let them come here to wash themselves and to have a little fun in the pool, do we have to have them for breakfast, lunch and dinner every night.
Needless to say, after that stupid question from me, Margot not only won the battle, she won the war.
Several days later, the bird feeder arrived from out of nowhere with a little sign on it. Put me up, Put me up!!!
Well, up it went, and there was no immediate reaction from any of our fine feathered friends. Two days later, 2 birds, and 5 bees visited the bird feeder and like the signal went out far and long, birds from all over started to show up for the Rizzo buffet. All color birds, all size birds and all species of birds----oh! how wonderful to see all of these creatures eating and splashing and eating more......wonder if this could be tax deductible in some way?. Then, the one thing we feared would happen, here comes Herman the squirrel. Fat bushy tail little bastard. Herman was a very sloppy eater, spilling seeds in all directions and leave. He would just hand, literally, around and the birds did not want to get near him. I had to find a way to keep him off this pole. He would just climb up the pole hang on somehow even upside down by spread eagle his hind legs somehow on the curved rungs holding the little cages of seed cakes. How was I going to stop him. OH!!! why not just spray WD40 oil on the pole that would do it. That was fun to watch, the birds would fly off when they saw Herman and he sat for a minute or two and then just make a little jump onto the pole and up he would go ..........but this time he would slowly slide down the pole...........like a fireman down a fire pole. " I cant hold on, he would say" HAHA, I would say back.
It rained that night and the next day brought clear skies and our little bird friends back. Did not see Herman that day, well that's one good sign, guess he gave up.
No my friends, apparently Herman went home to his Herman hut, pulled out his laptop, connected to the ACME store of how to beat the human boobs and got some new ideas. He came back with vengeance in his eyes and determination in his skills. He looked up at the casing holding the seed cakes, looked around, looked back up and SUDDENLY, in one smooth motion leaped from the railing of the deck, to the highest point of the pole, grabbed on, turned himself upside down holding on in a spread eagle position and with his front feet grabbed onto the cake cages and began eating. These cages , by the way, were suppose to be squirrel proof, HA, I say to that. Apparently the rain must have washed away some of the WD40 oil and Herman was able to hold onto the pole. This was his plan for the next several days, while I...........the squirrel hunter.......went to my computer and devised a system to stop him...........finally, I found the solution.
This is where things start to get a little more intense, so I've attached a schematic.
Well, up it went, and there was no immediate reaction from any of our fine feathered friends. Two days later, 2 birds, and 5 bees visited the bird feeder and like the signal went out far and long, birds from all over started to show up for the Rizzo buffet. All color birds, all size birds and all species of birds----oh! how wonderful to see all of these creatures eating and splashing and eating more......wonder if this could be tax deductible in some way?. Then, the one thing we feared would happen, here comes Herman the squirrel. Fat bushy tail little bastard. Herman was a very sloppy eater, spilling seeds in all directions and leave. He would just hand, literally, around and the birds did not want to get near him. I had to find a way to keep him off this pole. He would just climb up the pole hang on somehow even upside down by spread eagle his hind legs somehow on the curved rungs holding the little cages of seed cakes. How was I going to stop him. OH!!! why not just spray WD40 oil on the pole that would do it. That was fun to watch, the birds would fly off when they saw Herman and he sat for a minute or two and then just make a little jump onto the pole and up he would go ..........but this time he would slowly slide down the pole...........like a fireman down a fire pole. " I cant hold on, he would say" HAHA, I would say back.
It rained that night and the next day brought clear skies and our little bird friends back. Did not see Herman that day, well that's one good sign, guess he gave up.
No my friends, apparently Herman went home to his Herman hut, pulled out his laptop, connected to the ACME store of how to beat the human boobs and got some new ideas. He came back with vengeance in his eyes and determination in his skills. He looked up at the casing holding the seed cakes, looked around, looked back up and SUDDENLY, in one smooth motion leaped from the railing of the deck, to the highest point of the pole, grabbed on, turned himself upside down holding on in a spread eagle position and with his front feet grabbed onto the cake cages and began eating. These cages , by the way, were suppose to be squirrel proof, HA, I say to that. Apparently the rain must have washed away some of the WD40 oil and Herman was able to hold onto the pole. This was his plan for the next several days, while I...........the squirrel hunter.......went to my computer and devised a system to stop him...........finally, I found the solution.
This is where things start to get a little more intense, so I've attached a schematic.
Fig. A-
This is what the bird feeder looks like from the box. Consisted of a round planter (bottom) pole 4' high with 4 spirals, each holding a small chain and cage type holder. Inserted in the cage type holder was a solid (soft) cake made up of all kinds of seeds, berries and whatever else birds like. The birds were able to hold onto the cage and peck away til their hearts content. Dotted line 1 and dotted line 2 each represent how Herman, the flying squirrel would jump and hold onto the shaft.
Fig. B-
I figured that if I could get a flexible type of plastic large enough to detour him from simply climbing the pole and put a hole in the center attach it to the pole, it would force him away from trying to get to the feeder. This worked great for two days. He would shimmy the pole to the plastic, realise that he could not get around this and he simply made off.........empty handed.......so to speak What I did not know, is he simply went back to his squirrel hut, pulled out his computer into the ACME web site and calculated the possibility of being able to jump from the railing to the tip. Now, he had to estimated that part of the triangle. If you follow dotted line 1 and dotted line 2, you will learn, that he had then found the formula to the triangle and was able to leap from the railing to the very top of the bird feeder (4') and be able to balance himself. He would then gather himself, rest a few moments and once again, spread eagle, upside down holding onto the spiraled things, whatever there called and proceed to EAT SOMEONE ELSE'S FOOD..................OK! OK! how about this one.
Fig. C
OK, here's what we know. I know he can climb (shimmy) up the pole. I know he can jump clear to the top of the pole. Now, what happens if he is unable to jump to the top? AAHHH! success. So with the same flimsy plastic that I had placed under the food crates, I will place one on top of the bird feeder. That way, If he happens to jump clear to the top, he will simply not be able to hold onto anything, and will be forced to fall since the plastic is to flexible to hold his weight. Let's give that a try....................Success............for three days. Apparently Herman's' ACME warehouse was one step ahead and Herman's brain was just as ahead. Herman was able to calculate all the scenarios and was able to jump in between the plastic plates and grab onto one of the swinging grated food holders, so he swung a little, big deal. The first time he apparently felt his tail touching something and panic ran through his body.........that soon disappeared.........Herman was able to out dream, out smart everything I had thought of. Only one thing left to do. TAKE ALL THE FOOD HOLDERS AWAY!!!!!! Why didn't I think of that before now. This is why I have now a
FIG. D (not shown) reason being I wanted to take it down
Margot would not have this.....UH ! UH ! her play on this was "what's the sense in having a bird feeder if you have nothing on it to feed the birds. but But BUT just think, now we don't have to put up with the crazed squirrel. Margot's mind must just work differently from mine. Why not just let Herman and the birds live together????? says she..........OH!!!! I GUESS YOU MEAN FIR AND FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER.........UH HUH!!! That.......did not make sense at all...........what kind of women are you???
As I sat and thought about it........maybe, just maybe, she had a point. After all, I did miss the little bird with the yellow head and the little birds that came and went in a bunch, and Herman has been back, climbed the pole, ate a little and than went off for the day somewhere else. What the hell, we'll give that a chance.
SEE YOU IN THE MORNING LITTLE BIRDIES!!!!!!!!
