A couple of months ago, we spent 8 days in Hawaii. It was planned primarily for the reason ........to get out of the rain and into some sunshine. I took my laptop and my camera and thought I would just occupy my time at night having a mai tai on my lanai, downloading photo's taken that day and relaxing. WRONG!!! I found that I went a little over crazy with the camera and spent the evenings editing the photo's taken, mainly deleting the ones that Margot would not let me keep. Sure.....I sat on my lanai ................with my mai tai................and thought back over the days events...........laughing like hell. The beach scene was so hysterical it was obscene. Women and men wearing beachwear that they should stay away from. The seniors in our country......and I mean over 80..........should actually look in the mirror before they are let out at night............or day if they are going to the beach or the pool.
Now, the women were either bikini ready or not.Most bikinis adorned the bodies of those from 18-40 with the perfect hour glass figure. Perfect to look at and all had the motion of the ocean working in their favor. Once above 40 the pack started to expand............a little and I would say that the one piece suit was the way most went. The actual surprising part was that once above 60, the bikini once again was brought out of the closet and this is where the ladies should look in the mirror before they attempt to squeeze themselves into one of these babies, especially if you are no longer size 8 or smaller which 95 % of the woman are not. You may have been a beauty 35-40 years ago but you just don't have it anymore. Now, I thought I knew the difference between a bikini and a thong..................but apparently not. Some of these bikini's turned into thongs by the time some of these woman slipped out of their outerwear. I have a compassion for most woman............but..............please stand in front of a mirror before you head to the beach. Do you really think you look good??
On the other hand............men are just as bad if not worse. Overhangs (called stomachs) seem to take away all the sucking in men use to attempt attention from the more desirable beauties. Some men, those with half way acceptable bodies try to European it with the skimpy Olympic style suit with the extra front pocket to carry the package but if you only knew how stupid you actually look you would wear a bag over your head to hide any identity. Here again on the other hand those of you way over the scale numbers try to fit into this skimpy suit, for what reason, I don't know and it turns out to disappear when that spare tire rolls over you...............and the suit.
I will never forget the apparently well to do man, perhaps in his 50"s smoking a long $25 cigar with a belly on him that would put Santa to shame,, tried to fit into one of those skimpy suits. NOW, I know exactly how a sausage feels stuffed into the casing. Very tight in the middle but a stomach and chest that would not be able to fit into a size 70 jacket and thighs the size of watermelons. Oh what a sight. Sir--------look in a mirror. The last thought you may have before leaving your hotel room is that you probably think you look hot!!!!!..........but.........remember, there is probably some guy, like me, or gal out there with a camera taking your picture to put on YouTube.
Just for an experiment, I put on my trunk type bathing suit and looked into that mirror. WOW! beautiful well trimmed hair of silver, very expressing eyes, nice chin structure, broad shoulders, desirable chest............WHOA!!!..........TONTO ! just what I was talking about 10 seconds ago..........hide that Michelin and don't leave the room, better yet, want to go to the beach...................wear a 3XX tank top and just tell people that you are allergic to the sun as you stand ankle deep into the rushing oncoming waves.
That should make me look...................at least evenly from those broad shoulders down to those skinny legs...............talk about "battle of the bulge"
.Well, I have the whole summer to work out.............so that I look good at the Thanksgiving table.
