Since the new TSA rules went into effect regarding the new search procedures used at the airports, we had not made a trip. I listened very carefully to all this commotion about how the TSA inspectors were taking advantage of their new powers to search people. .....How the middle age lady thought the process was so disgraceful being touched by a woman or how the one Flight Captain, after experiencing the new method .......found himself in the men's room.......vomiting over being touched in private places. I wonder if he gave that any thought before he reached out and grabbed a hostess by her butt after she refused to have a drink with him. I find it rather amusing since I had never met a Captain that was this sensitive to being touched............... unless it was because the inspector was a man, which tends me to ask why men find it so EVENTFUL to watch woman ..........fondle ...........woman.
I sort of looked forward to this inspection during a recent trip we made to Hawaii. All I could think of the last week before leaving was how lucky Margot would be since it was 100% sure she would go through an extensive search since she has a Knee replacement and ALWAYS sets the buzzer off. I wanted to intentionally leave my belt on.......but just before I entered the scanner.....I was reminded to take my belt off. RATS!!! I already had my line picked out for when they told me to raise my arms and spread my legs and say "Do you mind if I have to go up your thighs?".......................... "NO PROBLEM.........HAVE A BALL!!" but I never got to use it. Guess Margot was relieved, since the rumor has it that anytime someone made any kind of unwanted comment they were thrown off the flight. Anyway, as I easily passed though the scanner with no sound, I took a look back and watched Margot getting her intense search. How lucky could she be. Guess, at our age, anytime some affection , of any kind comes along .........you just take it as.......................OK that wasn't so bad, I have had better.
Now, on the way back from Hawaii, the thought was that I would pull a Howard Stern shock spot, so I wore flip, flops, my bathing suit and a tank top going through security...........No problem.......what could they ask me to remove? Of course, just after security I would change into shorts, shirt and sneakers....... DAMN!!!! THE BUZZER just went off..................Why ME!!!!!....What am I carrying??. It seems that in walking through the terminal I stepped on a small paper clip that embedded itself into the soft flip flop It must have taken 20 minutes to discover what it was, meanwhile Margot had her intense search, a cup of coffee and came back to get me. Worst part was ................I just couldn't come up with anything!!!!! .that's strange to even admit...........and I was afraid to.
Now this reminds me about a trip I made to Sweden, some years back............about 6years. During the last day there, my belt had broken. Not having enough time to go out and look for a new one, I asked my host if they happen to have a belt I could borrow..........Well, I was a little overweight at that time and they just looked at me and laughed. The only thing they could come up with was a piece of green wrapping string. Well, as long as it held up my pants......I saw nothing wrong with it so, around the old waist it went.......twice ..........and then covered up by the broken belt to the point that you just could not see the string. Everything was going along OK, security in Sweden never asked me to remove my belt but just ran a hand wand over me after setting off the magnetometer. WALAA!!! passed that one. Now.........it's a different thing on my arrival into Seattle, after customs you had to go through a security check since the government agencies are located in a building that also housed domestic airlines. It seemed that since you had to go through security before going on domestic flights and even coming off an international flight you were still on an airplane that................could have.............passengers on it that did not pass through a security check point that was not approved by our FAA...................it's another long story..............but I can see what they had in mind. Anyway, there I was at the magnetometer.............with my belt on................so as I was told by the then.....................agent for a non government company (before TSA times) but controlled by the FAA ....to remove my belt. I tried to tell him my pants would fall................he would have nothing to say about that!!!!!!! just take off your belt................HEY! HEY! HEY ! WHAT;S THAT GREEN STRING!!!! where does it go. Embarrassingly, I tried to tell him my story..... but he was very insistent that I remove it in front of him (guess he though it was a fuse, heading down the front end of my pants and attached to a GIANT BOMB!!!! Well the funny part of the story is that everyone around me stood back with their fingers in their ears and watched as I gently untied the string and tried to hold my pants up at the same while doing my 15 minute standup act.................Now, that's embarrassment The new system of getting felt up is nothing compared to that.
Brings up a point about the TSA,...............established by the Bush Administration ........a result of 911 and the suspected reason that a BIGGER government can run a more efficient security. WRONG!!!! What it created was a giant department with over 125,000 employees of which less than 1/3 are inspectors, the rest is administration .........ALL EARNING big bucks!!!!!! Before them private companies had the chore of security PAID by the airlines BUT daily monitored by the FAA and weekly meeting with all of the security companies and airlines updating any new FAA requirements. Just think of the savings!!!!!!!!!my conservative friends who want to cut government!!!!!!! There is my suggestion........................!!!!! Get rid of the TSA and go back to the old system and save some big bucks. Seems that it will match what the GOP wants to do!!!!! OK! OK! Granted some procedures would have to be improve over what was done some 20 years ago.................but that's the easy part.
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I recently read that the GOP leadership, determine to turn back the times of the Pelosi era .....has reinstated the use of styrofoam cups in the Capital cafeterias. Guess if they are given another term they will advance America by putting the lead back into the paint covering the walls.
I promised in my last posting that I would have our trip to Hawaii on film for you. Well, Margot has now given it her PG rating so here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aeqQonRlWw
