HAVE A BALL!!!!!!

Since the new TSA rules went into effect regarding the new search procedures used at the airports, we had not made a trip.  I listened very carefully to all this commotion about how the TSA inspectors were taking advantage of their new powers to search people. .....How the middle age lady thought the process was so disgraceful  being touched by a woman or how the one Flight Captain, after experiencing  the new method .......found himself in the men's room.......vomiting over being touched in private places.  I wonder if he gave that any thought before he reached out and grabbed a hostess by her butt after she refused to have a drink with him.  I find it rather amusing  since I had never met a Captain that was this sensitive to being touched............... unless it was because the inspector was a man,  which tends  me to ask why  men find it so EVENTFUL to watch woman ..........fondle ...........woman. 

I sort of looked forward to this inspection during a recent trip we made to Hawaii.  All I could think of the last week before leaving was how lucky Margot would be since it was 100% sure she would go through an extensive search since she has a Knee replacement and ALWAYS sets the buzzer off.  I wanted to intentionally leave my belt on.......but just before I entered the scanner.....I was reminded to take my belt off.   RATS!!!   I already had my  line picked out for when they told me to raise my arms and spread my legs and say          "Do you mind if I have to go up your thighs?".......................... "NO PROBLEM.........HAVE A BALL!!"  but I never got to use it.   Guess Margot was relieved,   since the rumor has it that  anytime someone made any kind of unwanted comment they were thrown off the flight.   Anyway, as I easily passed though the scanner with no sound, I took a look back and watched Margot getting her intense search.  How lucky could she be.  Guess, at our age, anytime some affection , of any kind comes along .........you just take it as.......................OK that wasn't so bad,  I have had better.

Now, on the way back from Hawaii, the thought was that I would pull a Howard Stern shock spot, so I wore flip, flops, my bathing suit and a tank top going through security...........No problem.......what could they ask me to remove?    Of course, just after security I would change into shorts, shirt and sneakers....... DAMN!!!!  THE BUZZER just went off..................Why ME!!!!!....What am I carrying??.  It seems that in walking through the terminal I stepped on a small paper clip that embedded itself into the soft flip flop It must have taken 20 minutes to discover what it was, meanwhile Margot had her intense search, a cup of coffee and came back to get me.  Worst part was ................I just couldn't come up with anything!!!!! .that's strange to even admit...........and I was afraid to.

Now this reminds me about a trip I made to Sweden, some years back............about 6years.   During the last day there, my belt had broken.  Not having enough time to go out and look for a new one, I asked my host if they happen to have a belt I could borrow..........Well, I was a little overweight at that time and they just looked at me and laughed.   The only thing they could come up with was a piece of green  wrapping string.   Well, as long as it held up my pants......I saw nothing wrong with it so, around the old waist it went.......twice ..........and then covered up by the broken belt to the point that you just could not see the string.  Everything was going along OK, security in Sweden never asked me to remove my belt but just ran a hand wand over me after setting off the magnetometer.  WALAA!!!   passed that one.  Now.........it's a different thing on my arrival into Seattle, after customs you had to go through a security check since the government agencies are located in a building that also housed domestic airlines.  It seemed that since you had to go through security before going on domestic flights and even coming off an international flight you were still on an airplane that................could have.............passengers on it that did not pass through a security check point that was not approved by our FAA...................it's another long story..............but I can see what they had in mind.   Anyway,  there I was at the magnetometer.............with my belt on................so as I was told by the then.....................agent for a non government company (before TSA times) but controlled by the FAA ....to remove my belt.    I tried to tell him my pants would fall................he would have nothing to say about that!!!!!!!  just take off your belt................HEY!  HEY!   HEY !    WHAT;S THAT GREEN STRING!!!!   where does it go.  Embarrassingly, I tried to tell him my story..... but he was very insistent that I remove it in front of him (guess he though it was a fuse, heading down the front end of my pants and attached to a GIANT BOMB!!!!  Well the funny part of the story is that everyone around me stood back with their fingers in their ears and watched as I gently  untied the string and tried to hold my pants up at the same while doing my 15 minute standup act.................Now,  that's embarrassment   The new system of getting felt up is nothing compared to that.

Brings up a point about the TSA,...............established  by the Bush Administration ........a result of 911 and the suspected reason that a BIGGER  government can run a more efficient security. WRONG!!!!   What it created was a giant department with over 125,000 employees of which less than 1/3 are inspectors, the rest is administration .........ALL EARNING big bucks!!!!!!  Before them private companies had the chore of security PAID  by the airlines      BUT       daily monitored by the FAA and weekly meeting with all of the security companies and airlines updating any new FAA requirements.  Just think of the savings!!!!!!!!!my conservative friends who want to cut government!!!!!!!  There is my suggestion........................!!!!! Get rid of the TSA and go back to the old system and save some big bucks.  Seems that it will match  what the GOP wants to do!!!!! OK! OK!  Granted some procedures would have to be improve over what was done some 20 years ago.................but that's the easy part.  
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 I recently read that the GOP leadership, determine to turn back the times of the Pelosi era .....has reinstated the use of  styrofoam cups in the Capital cafeterias.  Guess if they are given  another term they will advance America by putting the lead back into the paint covering the walls.

I promised in my last posting that I would have our trip to Hawaii on film for you.  Well, Margot has now given it her PG rating so here it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aeqQonRlWw

SUMMER'S COMING ALONG WITH THE BIRDS AND SQUIRRELS......

If you recall, last year I mentioned how I was having difficulties with HERMAN, the squirrel and how he was able to climb the pole to the bird feeders and no matter what idea I came up with.................he would outsmart me....................until I finally gave up(Feb 2010 are you smarter than a squirrel).   Well a friend of mine happened to pay special attention to my dilemma and sent me the attached video on how to fix the problem.................once and for all.   OK, HERMAN............BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!! 
  
                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIbY_IWT3fk


I haven't seen HERMAN all winter ................but...........I know he's out there somewhere and is just preparing himself to meet up with me..........soon!!!!  He has his direct contact with  ACME, the same place Roadrunner deals with for all his ........."outsmarting tools."  There are still peanuts buried in Margots flower boxes from just before winter and I know he will eventually wake up hungry.   OOHH sorry, he's a rodent not a bear!!! however, if you see the mess he can make of her flowers looking for peanuts you would think he was a bear.  Margot's not very happy about that..................but...................just doesn't have the  (whatever) to make a squirrel hat out of him.  The birds, on the other hand, really don't pay any attention to him................EXCEPT.................the enormous black birds who...................just sit and wait until Herman tries to cross the street in front of a car......................doesn't make it.........and BAM!!!!!      they are down on him.
 Anyway, Spring has begun to show it's little sign with the little shoots of flowers trying to push their noses up through the little snow that hangs around from our dumping of 3"       well OK!  make remarks about that but to me that 3"  was equal to 3' when I was thinking about shovelling it...............so I dumped that idea and came in and made myself another cup of coffee.
 I had to call the city, this morning to remind them that I live at the bottom of a hill and with 3" of snow, I can't get my car up the hill and that I feel like a hermit in the forest. I also added the fact that the power has gone out and since our house is total electric, I can't even make a cup of coffee and being old I need my TV to watch Judge Judy and Springer.  Well, they were very concerned about the whole situation and the next day in the mail, came a letter from the young lady I spoke with apologizing for the bad snow removal service along with the power outage plus a $3 coupon for a Starbucks as soon as I could make it up the hill.  Wasn't that nice!!!!!!  I decided then and there not to call her back to advise her that the truck ....................missed my sidewalk.

   Well , back to  Herman, I just saw the little bastard, running from one pot to another looking for his nuts..............better get my squirrel relocater up and running.

Come late April, Margot will once again begin working on her flower deck and I will put some photos of it online in this blog..............just to show you what I have to put up with every year........but it does keep her occupied and away from shopping.  Not that she's a big shopper but is quick to always say......."she doesn't have a thing to wear."   My only question is why does she have three closets and I have only one????
Well,  like they say in Mississippi..............or is it  Louisiana................or perhaps   Alabama.   That's all for now.  Come on back...............Y'ALL.

WHO?? WHAT DID THEY SAY?? WHERE AM I??

The recent televising of the Oscars and before that the Grammy's  have certainly been an eye opener for me.

Where did my world go?  I always considered myself to be a little hip (just to prove that point, I do like the group Willy Nillie......or is it Nillies Willy ).... but when you don't know any of the people or the movies or the songs it leads one to immediately go to any of the everyday things i.e. crossword puzzles, sudoku, find the word, look for differences in pictures or whatever else there is to prove to one self that Ahlzeimers is not present.

To take this one  step further, I turned on American Idol only to become more confused and concerned. Whatever happen to the gooooood

old songs like:  I'm looking over a four leaf clover,  Amore, Wheel of Fortune, Doggy in the window, I did it my way, Till, and my favorite....Lets do the twist!!!   I now only hear a lot of screaming, gargling, and what sounds like coughing, I can't understand what words they are saying or what the melody really is. Besides all this the new singers are having problems dressing.  Either the pants hang to low, slits in skirts to high, socks don't match or a long scarf  hangs outside the rear of the pants.  Tattoos appear all over the body, Tuxedo shirt studs are now located in the nose, lips, eyelids, and  tongue, which by the way forces one to sing with a lisp,  hair on girls short, hair on boys long.  Did I become a modern day RIP VAN WINKLE  and miss out on the past 20 years?  Is my memory really leaving me?  The worst seems to be coming faster and faster with the passing of each day. The world seems to be moving faster than the Lone Rangers speeding silver bullet.

Now, the perfect example of where styles
 are going.  Why in the world would anyone
 want to show their underwear, unless you
 are going to a Halloween party as
Superman!! .........or trying to capture
 the loving lust of that certain someone.


Granted, my mom always told me to
wear clean underwear.......just in case
I was hit by a car and the medics had to
 see if my underwear was clean and
pressed, which I could never understand
 the philosophy but never questioned Mom.
  But I never went around showing them off.
   However, I could understand people
wanting to see my Chartreuse argyle socks.


The one thing I do say thank you for is  DANCING WITH THE STARS.    At least they do have at least one.........old timer.......on the show, even though they may have a little trouble with the Texas Two Step slowing down to 2MPH or the Jive, where this little skinny dancing guy has to pick up and throw this older slightly overweight female star over his shoulders.  One thing I never realized to now is that it is true that our reactions become slower with age.  Even our timing!!!!! and especially our memory of...................THE GOOD OLD DAYS...................  

OOOOHHHHH  well,   the important thing at the moment..............IS THAT TIME GOES ON!!!!!!

THINKIN' BACK!!

Recently, one of my close friends who has literally known me since school to this day.........boy that makes her really old....................asked me to give a comparison to the three big times of my life........school years......military years and  my working years.    WHAT THE HELL!!!!!  Why would anyone want to know that for???  Well, I actually started to write about that but just ended up deleting a complete post about it.  I just could not bring it to myself to make that comparison.  After all,  they were all totally different and each had good times and bad ...............most of all they all played a role in why I am so damn wonderful.  My school years started out as usual school years do.  I had visions of being abnormally bright, attending college with the highest expectations of spending at least 8 years in college to become a worldwide noted architect, diplomat,scholar, athlete..................no not one of the above................ALL OF THE ABOVE.  Now, very simply put,  I could see none of the above happening as soon as the 7th grade............ssssoooooo  I had to settle for passing grade (slightly above borderline)  and a job with part time college, which, by the way extended to the age of 60,  but like my dad would always say................"YOU NEVER stop learning!!!!  Boy, dad,  you should have been a Nobel prize winner.......for COMMONSENSE.  The real break came as soon as I graduated high school, got a summer job with the US Post Office earning $1.63/per hour and the big bucks simply burned a hole in my jeans and I couldn't resist earning all that money by wasting my time to go to school in the fall.  Well, it wasn't until the spring of the next year when my new calling with SAS came to life along with a HEFTY raise to $1.83/hr.  WOW!!!!! LOOK OUT WORLD.     I'm on my way!!!!  All that dough.......PLUS.......the chance to date all those hot Scandinavian chicks.   Well,  that wasn't as easy as thought out to be.  Seems, the custom was to be introduced............but  have no fear.  The people skills I learned in high school were all in place and I was able to finally put them to use. The high school social life started to pay off.
Durning my early years at SAS, my Uncle Sam decided that he needed me to settle some minor incidents in the world so I had to leave my job and take up a calling, where within a short time I had helicopter duty flying over the nudest colonies of Germany to keep them safe.  Perhaps, that's a little harsh,  I'm not really going to expand on that!!!!! After the 2 years of active duty, I did return to SAS only to retire some 39 years later.  Nothing, like keeping a job  even through perhaps 5 layoffs and 5 offered retirement plans.  Must have been my lovable personality I trained for in high school.

So now, you can see where I have a problem in deciding where I enjoyed myself the most between school, military or working.  It's easy to say.................ALL OF THE ABOVE.  I still continue to this day, to think of all my years on earth..............as if I've been anywhere else, but earth.......................and to try to separate parts of my life.  Can't be done!!!!  they are all melted together.  Most of all I still remain that lovable person I was in high school, military and my working years  along with now my retirement years................but still looking to lower that 18 handicap on the  golf course.  The one important thing that still remains the same.  I still have contact with my very good high school friends,  militay buddies and work friends.............FROM AROUND THE WORLD!!!!!!!! 


One discovery I recently made was just where the RIVERDANCE was born.  Michael Flattery would certainly not agree with me but I would challenge his interpretation!!!!  Check this out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0rrLdWLu_0

Did you have fun??