MY YEARLY HEALTH EXAM...........

A couple of postings ago, I spoke about my annual visit to my Doctor for my annual.......examination.  Always fun to see her .......since she truly understands me. Along with the usual HEALTH talk, she does say I should have .......atleast one glass of wine a day (perhaps she didn't exactly use the word  at least)  she did say that two glasses would actually deepen the red color of my blood and take the slight blueness out of it (which I thought I noticed)   Anyway, she insists that I do some kind of exercise......so we started talking about the kinds that would take the least amount of time, effort and give me the maximum amount of energy to fulfill my day.  She came up with.......WALKING !!!!  how boring especially since my kids bought me a GPS to get around in my car.......so I counteracted with............DRIVING.  We came to a understanding that I could drive to the area where I would walk and that would satisfy both of us.   She asked if I had any experience with walking so I had to give her a few examples of my experience.  I told her about Grandpa:

 My grandpa started walking
Five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
And we don't know where he is.

COULD THIS ALSO HAPPEN TO ME?????

I also mentioned that                  
        " The only reason I would take up walking
Is so........ I could hear heavy breathing again."

and that I would prefer to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing " 

We also talked about joining a health club.........I mentioned that I had joined one last year and spent $400 and noticed I did not lose one pound.  Apparently I had to go there.

Long story short..................I now walk and seem to enjoy it..............at least for now!!!!!  

Well, now that the floorshow is at the end, I will now settle down to the original format of this blog. I'm going back to the thoughts that run through this old brain and my living in the past, present and the future.  So far, nothing has shown up for the future but who knows what will happen..............maybe my crystal ball will come to life.  

Stay tuned for some NEW THINGS!!!!!
  
          
               
        

TIME FOR..........FUN ! !

(CONTRIBUTED BY SOME GOOD FRIENDS)

I was in a pub the other night and saw two rather large girls sitting at the bar.

They both had strange accents so I said "Hello, are you two girls from Scotland ?"

One of them gave me a dirty look and said, It's WALES you bloody idiot!"

So I immediately apologized and said "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?

I get out of hospital tomorrow......

 During an annual physical exam, my doctor asked me about what I did yesterday. I told her about my day:
"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a mountain lion in the heavy brush, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand, and jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake"


Inspired by my story, the doctor said, "You must be an awesome outdoorsman!"

"No," I replied, "I'm just a shitty golfer ."

work?  over 70?  where??  why

Have you ever...............really sat down and thought about working beyond 70 years old.  I don't think you have really done that............atleast not to the extend  you should.  Take a look at what it may mean...........not only to you ..............but to those  BIG CORPORATIONS  that need our money so bad to boost their profits.  This looks like Wal-Mart
www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=19THRdXxmaI


 FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER
(contributed by a very good friend.  Thanks for reminding me about all these good times and one liners)

Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood
 Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are
 now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?

A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes
of the show!)


Q.Do female frogs croak?

A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.


Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should
you be

A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.


Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.


Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a  woman?

A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.


Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you
think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's
 married?

A. Rose Marie: No. Wait until morning.


Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.


Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?

A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.


Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?

A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.


Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands  while talking?

A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll
 give you a gesture you'll never forget.


Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.


Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get  any during the first year?

A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.


Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?

A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.


Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.
 One is politics, what is the other?

A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.


Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.


Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.


Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose  do?

A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?


Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.


Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into
the  habit of kissing a lot of people?

A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.


Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?

A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.


Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head,  what was he trying to do?

A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.


Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
 elephant?

A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?


Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him


Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and
has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

A. Charley Weaver: His feet.


Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
 bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh


WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING



ANOTHER MRS BROWN VIDEO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqIEZCRjR_A


Have a nice day and I hope that this posting has put a GREAT BIG SMILE on your face.

CONFUSION OR CONFUCIOUS

In most cases, one can understand ANY language.  Here is that case.   This video is in German but it is so self explanatory.   Some of ................us....................just find these new fangle """ toys""""  so fantastic..............others are totally confused.

This video shows the result of a person not knowing exactly what an ipad is or what you can do with it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUCpOYdG8hM

my GPS

I use my GPS quite often since my kids bought if for me about 3 years ago.  At first I found it quite fascinating how someone,.................that I didn't even know...............could track me ..............apparently from England (by her accent)  and tell me exactly what I should do at each and every turn.  I would intentionally try to fool the young lady which I nicknamed " the bitch"  since she constantly told me I was going the wrong way.  I found that it really pissed her off..............she would loose patience with me and started to blurt out..................RECALCULATING.  Each and every time I would go in another direction she became more and more impatient with me and the 'RECALCULATING' would seem to get louder and louder..........................until........................it just got so bad that...........................

                                     I found ........................that I should have taken her advice.

In my political view

I was raised to always believe that.............people involved in the Judicial system were bipartisan and reached their decisions by reading and interpreting the LAW as it is written.  In this heated debate regarding the Health package presented by ...................well you know who...............and signed into law by.................you know who..............it has become a point of.....................you know what...............amongst.....................you know who.  After all this known factual rhetoric................it has become a talking topic and eventually a topic to show if it is...............or if it ain't  constitutional.  Well, put nine NON PARTISAN people into one room and ask them to make a decision and ...............walaa...........you come up with a ruling.  Now, these 9 NON PARTISAN people are to take ONLY what their interpretation to the law is.............not their personal beliefs.

                                             I really wonder if they will be able to do it!!!!

They do know, that the United States of America is classified as a Federal Constitution Republic......

NOT a Federal Constitution REPUBLIC---AN.  I can also see why Justice Ginsberg is leaning.........to the left.

Animal Psychologist......mind reader??

Have you ever looked directly into your pet's eyes and have wondered exactly what they were thinking?    Well,........either have I, but just try it once and you would then understand the what? why? and when? thoughts of your pet.   Try this on.

Well,  have a nice day.